Date: Stardate 07.12.25.

Location: Exiting warp drive tunnel near The Milky Loaf

ORIGIN & VESSEL: LEAD SCIENTIST - DR BUDDER aboard the DIONYSUS

Where we last left off, the Dionysus  have just exited the Space Toast sector as soon as  Dr Budder has finally figured out how to shut down the reality-recombobulator engines. 

Our crew members of the Dionysus do know how to handle anomalies with grace and candor.

We all assumed that most beings would return back to their original forms when the ship engines powered down. 

Alas, this was not the case. 

As our science team got to work on a cure to reset beings back to their original forms, the others called it in for the night and headed back to cryo sleep. During that time our crew members that were in toast form found out that they actually preferred to be in toast form. Some said that it helped them see a different perspective of the universe, others said that it helped them sort out some life long problems that now make sense. A few members decided to stay in toast form rather than change back to “normal”.

 “Rye not celebrate this new perspective?” said one of the semi-toasted Captains!

The captains and crew members decided that in order to fully celebrate this new choice and way of life, the Dionysus would host a special party to commemorate this choice. 

A party signal will be sent out to reach others that have been toasted as such! 

“I’m so excited that I’m bready to burst!” said one of the fully toasted lieutenants.

 As the rest of the crew make preparations for the party signal to rise, Dr. Budder began analyzing the root cause of this engine malfunction (or enhancement? Depends how you see it!) What caused our reality to warp into what others are calling  the “SPACE TOAST ” event? 

“Took me a few hours to uncover it but — Eureka, I have discovered the root cause of our engine malfunctions! I know what we knead to do!”

“Alas, a discovery! Things have changed for ciabatta or for the worse? This new drive can be repurposed for so many other things to help our journey across the universe!  Humm… what's this? I have discovered a crumb of code within the root programming…”

As days go by, Dr Budder suddenly realizes that it is not a file structure or framework. But a message.

A message that depicts a warning about… toast?

“Based on my calculations…” she says to her assistant. “The origin of this signal originated from a planet nearby. Planet … Marzipan? Hmm.. It isn’t that far from here, it seems odd that we are in the same star system as it, The Milky Loaf”

‘Did we drop out of Toast Space at random here? Or was the Dionysus pulled into it by this entity…’ Dr Budder ponders.

“Can you grab me a coffee? ” She says to her assistant.

As the assistant disappears behind a sliding door, Dr Budders checks the video feed to see how our crew members are doing. ‘Our crew members are still currently distracted by their new goals of sending a universal party signal’ she ponders…

“We must get closer to further investigate the source of the signal! I’m sure a slight detour in our route won’t be noticeable to our crew members!” Dr Budders mumbles.

The Dr overrides the main navigation ship controls from her office and the Dionysus  is a little closer to where the signal came from. Within the next 10 mins, a voice cuts through the computer speakers.  

“Beware the crust…” a voice cuts through the intercom. 

“Interesting…” Dr Budder says, “ It didn’t fully sound like it came from my speakers…”

The doctor invokes a new encrypted channel and launches an open broadcast towards the alien star system. She usually doesn't make such a brash decision as this but decided to, how do the crew members say, go with her ‘gut feeling”. 

“Hello there, I am Dr. Butter, Lead Scientist aboard the starship: Dionysus. I found your message! Is anyone there?

A deep screech ensues followed by silence. 

“Dr Budder… A pleasure to meet you!” it replies with an odd accent.

“To whom, may I ask, am I speaking to?” 

Another deep screech happens but this time with a higher pitch, and a voice cuts through the screech: “The Crust! It must be cleansed!” 

“I have had many names throughout the eons, leader of the custables, the unwanted, left overs, the cut away & thrown out! I am the Anti-crust.

 I see your vessel has partaken in the misery that is the toasted ways and fully crusted. Tell me, Dr. Budder. Do you agree with your fellow shipmates in this new way of toast?”

Dr Budder replies, “I am a scholar and curious person of science and will always be willing to hear the pros & cons of an argument. I know my crewmates & friends can be odd sometimes but in the end I respect their decision to be toasted or not.”

A static noise in the video link fills the silence. “I see, so you do support this new way of toast and such…a pita — I mean pity. Tell me Dr. Budder,” groans the Anti-Crust. “Bready or Not. Show me what you Doughnut like about your friends.” 

And with a heavy electrical shock Dr Budder falls, a scream similar from the console but this time more deeper and with presence… a dark smoke surrounds the console where Dr Budder once stood. 

Dr Budder’s assistant bursts into the communication room yelling, “Dr Budder!  Are you ok?I heard something but… ” 

He pauses as he is shocked by what he sees next. 

The console starts to turn into a doughy complexion and melt away. From the dusty white cloud of yeast-like substance, a bright light appears in the shape of a butter knife and a cackle that cuts through your soul-crust. 

“There is no Dr. Budder anymore, and there is No Crust, for I am the Anti-Crust!” And with a heavy swipe from her knife, she cuts the assistant and he instantly turns into a burnt crust being. Stripped away from the toast. 

The Anti-Crust and Her new minion “Crustable One” are now aboard the Dionysus. And they will not stand for any crust whatsoever! Naan can stand in their way!

—————— END OF SHIP AI STORY TRANSMISSION—————

Will the crew members be alerted of this new doughy foe? 

Will our heroes from the Dionysus be able to stop this new threat from ruining their party? 

How will the guests react to this new conflict of crust or no crust? 

Can the party signal be completed and sent in time? 

Will the gluten-filled guests help us again?

To experience the epic conclusion make sure to join us on July 11th at Space Toast 2: The Anti-Crust!

CAUTION: Your attire must withstand dimensional shifts. The recommended dress guidelines are as follows:

• 🥂 Glamorous Space Travelers: Bring your futuristic fashion, holographic fabrics, & iridescent everything.

• 🍞 Cosmic Bread: Bread-themed costumes, melted cheese armor, golden crust couture.

• 💫 Warped Reality Wear: Think melting accessories and Dali-esque outfits. Or click here to see screen captures of last years event!

🛸 Event Details:

• 🗺️ Location: The Waldorf Hotel (1489 East Hastings St, Vancouver)

• 🕣 Time: July11th 2026 - AirLock Gates @ 7:30 PM 

• 🎶 Features: Live DJs, Interactive Space Art Installations, Reality-Warping Photo Booth

• 🎟️ Tickets: Click here for boarding pass!

• 🪩 Age: 19+ (All Earthlings must Bring ID.)