Date: Stardate 07.12.25.

Location: Exiting warp drive tunnel near The Milky Loaf

ORIGIN & VESSEL: LEAD SCIENTIST - DR BUDDER aboard the DIONYSUS

Where we last left off: Aboard the starship Dionysus had just exited the Space Toast sector.

After experiencing malfunctions with the reality-recombobulator engine, the crew members had transformed into bready and toast-like beings. Thankfully, Dr. Budder, our Chief Science Officer, was there to save the day!

After she shut the engines down, she was certain that most beings on board would return back to their original forms. Alas, this was not the case. Golden, charred, crispy, and/or buttered; the crew remained Toasted.

As our science team got to work on a cure to bring the crew back to their original forms, the others did their best to keep busy; working on repairs and adjusting to a life where eating a sandwich was cannibalism. During that time however, those that were in bread form began to not only accept, but embrace, their new toasted selves. Some swore that being toasted gave them a deeper understanding of the universe. Others were amazed to find that decades of identity crises could apparently be made simple by becoming bread. But they all agreed, being toasted revealed corners of the universe that they had never even been aware of before. 

When Dr. Budder found a cure, they discussed their options, but ultimately they decided to remain as they had become. They no longer identified as solely “human”, but rather as a new, more evolved species of toast and toast adjacent people.

One of the semi-toasted Captains raised his drink in the air with a crispy arm, “Rye not celebrate this new perspective?!” he announced. Everyone cheered as crumbs flew in all directions.

The captains and crew members decided that in order to fully celebrate this new choice and way of life, the Dionysus would host a special party to commemorate this choice. 

They decided that a party signal would be sent out in an attempt to reach others that had also been touched by The Toast. A lieutenant, crispy and tanned, yelled, “I’m so excited that I’m bready to burst!”

Dr. Budder began analyzing the root cause of this engine malfunction, and what caused our reality to warp into what others are now calling the “Space Toast ” event. While the rest of the crew was relaxing one night, rubbing margarine on each other in the kitchen, Dr. Budder burst in in a flurry of excitement. “It took me months of painstaking work to uncover it but — I’ve done it!! I’ve figured out what makes the crust crumble! The reality-recombobulator engines can be repurposed for so many other things to help in our journey across the universe! However,I have discovered a crumb of code within the root programming that I don’t quite understand…”

As days passed, Dr Budder realized that it was not a file structure or framework, but a message. A message that depicted a warning about… Toast.

Based on my calculations, she pondered, The origin of this signal originated from a planet nearby. It isn’t that far from here... It seems odd that we are in the same star system as it, given that the Dionysus travelled 63,241 Astronomical Units from where the Space Toast event occurred. Did we drop out of hyperdrive here by random coincidence? Or was the Dionysus pulled into it by this entity?

She mumbled aloud, “We must get closer to further investigate the source of the signal! I’m sure a slight detour in our route won’t be noticeable to our crew members!” Dr. Budder checked the video feed, and was reassured to see that they were still distracted with their party signal mission.

Quickly and silently, she overrode the main navigation ship controls from her office, and set the Dionysus on a route that would get them a little closer to where the signal came from. ‘Nothing crazy’, she thought. 

Within the next 10 minutes, a voice cut through the console speakers:

“Beware the crust…” 

Dr Budder felt a shutter go down her spine. It sounded like the voice was in the room with me…

The doctor created a new encrypted channel and launched an open broadcast towards the alien star system. She didn’t usually make such rash decisions, but something deep inside of her yearned to know more about this mysterious voice. 

“Hello there, I am Dr. Butter, Lead Scientist aboard the starship: Dionysus. I heard your message! Is anyone there?”

An immediate, deep screech ensued… Followed by a paralyzing silence. 

“Dr. Budder… A pleasure to meet you..” The voice was like a whisper. Smooth. Seductive somehow. Dr. Budder felt herself being drawn in immediately. 

She shook her head and regained focus. “To whom, may I ask, am I speaking to?” 

Another screech, and a voice, this time commanding and powerful, cut through again: “The Crust! It must be cleansed!” 

Dr. Budder, shaking, asked once more, “Who are you??”

“I have had many names throughout the eons. Leader of the Crustables: the unwanted; the left overs; the cut away and thrown out! I am… The Anti-Crust. I see your vessel has sold their souls to the toaster. Bought into the propaganda of the toasted ways and fully crusted. Tell me, Matilda, do you agree with your fellow shipmates?”

Dr. Budder wondered if she told this ‘Anti-Crust’ her first name… She didn’t think so, but how else would she know it?? 

“I consider myself a scholar, and curious person of science. I will always be willing to hear the pros & cons of an argument. I know my crewmates & friends can be odd sometimes, but in the end I respect their decision to be Toasted or not!”

A static noise seemed to go on forever, and Dr. Budder started to feel anxious that she wouldn’t hear her mysterious friend’s sultry voice again… When the Anti-crust did eventually speak, it was with a distinct air of disgust. “I see… So you did drink the kool-aid. I suppose you had to, to wash down all that disgusting toast…That’s a pita — pity! Well, bready or not you will show me what you doughnut like about your friends.” 

And with a heavy electrical shock Dr. Budder fell. Another shriek came through the console, but this time it filled the whole room. A dark smoke surrounded the space where the Doctor had just stood. 

Dr. Budder’s assistant burst into the communication room, “Dr. Budder! Are you okay?? I heard something but -” He froze in fear. 

The console began to melt into a soft, doughy consistency. A dusty white cloud of what seemed to be some yeast-like substance covered the area like a smoke bomb, and a bright light appeared, quickly taking the shape of a massive butter knife. Then, a cackle that could cut through your soul-crust. A figure emerged, and her voice boomed across the ship.

“There is no Dr. Budder anymore, and there will be no crust. For I am… the Anti-Crust!” 

She struck suddenly, and with a heavy swipe of her knife, she sliced the assistant viciously. She removed all that made him crusty, leaving only the soft center behind. A mere slice of his former self. Stripped away from the toast. And just like that, the transformation was complete. Where once was a proud member of The Toasted, now stood a loyal servant to the Anti-Crust. He had risen from the crumbs, reborn: An Uncrustable.

The Anti-Crust and her new minion set their sights on the rest of The Toasted aboard the Dionysus. Their mission was clear: eliminate toast in all its forms. Stop the spread of the crusty plague, and destroy all who try to stop them. Naan could stand in their way!

But the story didn’t end here. What happened next would determine the future of Toastkind itself…

Will our heroes from the Dionysus be able to stop this new threat from ruining their party? 

Will the party signal be completed and sent out in time? 

Which side will you be on? Will you aid the crew in defeating the Anti-Crust? Or will you join her minions in the war on Toast?

To experience the epic conclusion, join us on July 11th at: 

Space Toast 2: The Anti-Crust!

CAUTION: Your attire must withstand dimensional shifts. The recommended dress guidelines are as follows:

• 🥂 Glamorous Space Travelers: Bring your futuristic fashion, holographic fabrics, & iridescent everything.

• 🍞 Cosmic Bread: Bread-themed costumes, melted cheese armor, golden crust couture.

• 💫 Warped Reality Wear: Think melting accessories and Dali-esque outfits. Or click here to see screen captures of last years event!

🛸 Event Details:

• 🗺️ Location: The Waldorf Hotel (1489 East Hastings St, Vancouver)

• 🕣 Time: July11th 2026 - AirLock Gates @ 7:30 PM 

• 🎶 Features: Live DJs, Interactive Space Art Installations, Reality-Warping Photo Booth

• 🎟️ Tickets: Click here for boarding pass!

• 🪩 Age: 19+ (All Earthlings must Bring ID.)